A response to people who “would wear a mask if the social stigma weren't so high.”

Why a fear of "looking different" isn't a good enough excuse

Misinformation and Performative Allyship Among Leftists

Many left-leaning people I've encountered on the internet and beyond say that they understand that Covid-19 (as well as other airborne infectious diseases) can be mitigated by wearing a high-quality respirator. Yet, many won't do it. I have never been able to understand why so many intelligent, educated people - many of whom are vocal advocates for other human rights issues - have abandoned disabled people by giving up the simple and highly effective disease prevention tool of masking. So I asked the question directly to my followers: why don't you mask if you know the risks, the science, and care about other people?

The two most common answers were

1. “I'm not sick so why would I wear one?”

And 2. “I don't want people to judge me.”

The first response displays a frustrating lack of understanding of how Covid, and many other infectious diseases, spread. Something like 40-50% of all Covid cases are asymptomatic. And yes, people are infectious during that time. I try to kindly offer this information to people as often as I can, but as any educated person has experienced at one point or another, the amount of ignorance and denial in the world can feel insurmountable.

The second response, however, is a bit more difficult for me to digest. People who identify as leftists typically tout human rights, inclusion, and social justice as some of their main beliefs, and many leftists that I know are quite vocal about those beliefs. I remember that outspokenness really came to life in my own circles of friends and online news feeds around the time of the 2016 U.S. presidential election. It was around that same time I remember really finding my own voice, much to the dismay of my more conservative family members.

Following that time, I found myself more and more embedded in various online-based communities of like-minded people. These communities would claim to stand up for what was right, without fear of being judged or ridiculed by a racist family member or stranger on the street. In 2020, when the initial shutdowns started, followed by the huge BLM movement that summer, I felt more connected to my community than ever. We were working together and striving for better.

It was also around this time that my health started to severely decline. Following an emergency appendectomy in May of 2020 (a terrible time to have to need emergency medical care), my previously somewhat stable chronic illnesses kicked into overdrive. I became fixated on exercising and eating healthy, doing everything that I could to try to regain control of my rapidly decaying body, and watched my former self continue to slip away despite those efforts.

Meanwhile, I started noticing my friends weren't masking anymore. They were still being vocal about other social justice issues, condemning those who didn't ruthlessly stand up for minority groups, and often heavily policing others within our own communitities for not being inclusive enough or using the right language when talking about a subject. But concerns about preventable diseases and advocacy for the disabled community began to be traded for photos of positive tests and complaints about not knowing how they could have gotten sick when they're “so careful.” When asked about what precautions they'd been taking to prevent Covid, my smart, socially informed friends would somehow offer up “handwashing,” and nothing else. The intentionally misleading messaging around Covid had gotten to them, too.

Recently, I decided to directly ask a group of friends why they no longer wear a mask or take any Covid precautions. Most flat out ignored the question, and I couldn't help but be hurt by the dismissal. I openly advocate for all human rights alongside the ones that are most applicable to me. I try to learn and grow as much as I can in all aspects of my life. When I learn something new, I change my behavior in response to it. No one is perfect, of course, but I am always making the effort to do better. So I can't help but ask myself, if I haven't abandoned other vulnerable groups in my advocacy, why have all of my friends abandoned mine in theirs?

Opting Out of Looking Different

I look back often on what it was like to grow up visibly disabled. On top of my variety pack of genetically inherited illnesses and a few common comorbidities of those illnesses, I also was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome. In my case, this random chance syndrome (with no genetic predisposition) took my left arm from a little below the elbow. An exceedingly rare condition for a child to have, the only other amputees that I knew for the first 23 or so years of my life were the occasional war veteran or other significantly older adults with a lower limb difference. I had no one to truly connect with about this uniquely odd social experience.

I felt very alone. And I stuck out everywhere I went.

Adults and children alike would treat me differently as a child. I was taught a few canned answers to offer in the very frequent incidents of people asking about my arm: “I was born that way,” “my mom says I don't have to answer that question,” and “I didn't ‘lose’ it” were all in my frequent rotation. I was bullied and pitied. I would get stares, laughs, and questions, often from adults who seem eager to tell me about their uncle's cousin's friend who lost his foot in a tractor accident. They love to punctuate this with “it's okay though because he still gets around just fine.”

I have quite literally never known a moment of peace in a public space. I am still always subject to staring, pointing, fear (mostly from kids, but probably some adults too), invasive questions about my medical history, and unsolicited comments. I have been mocked, ridiculed, questioned, and excluded. I've even been stalked and harassed about my arm. And don't even get me started on amputee devotees (google it if you aren't familiar with the term).

It's endless and inescapable, unlike wearing a mask. I don't ever have the privilege of leaving the thing that makes me different at home. I don't get to make a conscious decision about whether I not I feel up to being scrutinized that day. Instead, I've learned to live with it, and to develop a certain level of tolerance for people hurling openly ignorant comments toward me, as well as a heightened sense of awareness.

Since I've started masking everywhere I go half a decade ago, the only difference that I've noticed in my daily interactions is sometimes in the types of questions that people ask, and the occasional asshole who intentionally coughs at me. Thankfully, the latter of the two is easy to ignore. I literally just keep walking and pretend that they don't exist. Works like a charm.

I still use my little canned answers when people ask about my mask, just like I still do when they ask about my arm. The basic idea remains the same - “I'm a caregiver for someone with cancer,” “I am/my husband is immunocompromised,” “because Covid still exists,” and one I save only for really special cases, “because I'm sick,” followed by a nice, fake cough. That last one is especially effective. I've never had someone push much further beyond any of those answers.

Here's the best part: while my answers are often true, because I am immunocompromised and one of my closest friends is going through chemotherapy, it's still perfectly okay to lie to asshole strangers. Really, it is. You don't owe anyone an explanation for simply existing with a mask on.

At least, until there's a mask ban in place.

Why You Should Care

This is where I might come across as a little preachy if you're not one to wear a mask, but I need you, especially, to hear me out.

The less often that people wear masks in general, the more dangerous it becomes for people who do wear them. Many people who do mask regularly are disabled or caretakers of disabled folks. Disabled people already experience higher rates of violence, and are more likely to develop new or worsening disability after a Covid infection, not to mention the very real possibility of death. This unfairly puts a higher burden on us, the most vulnerable, to defend ourselves in every way you can imagine. But by having more masked people circulating out in the world, the stigma is lessened along with lower rates of transmission.

Additionally, anyone can become disabled at any time. If Long Covid doesn't come for you (and it very well could, since there is a 10-20% likelihood of developing LC after every Covid infection, symptomatic or not), a car accident, cancer, or even the regular process of aging easily could. We also know that Covid can reactivate latent illnesses, such as shingles, and wreak long-term havoc on the immune system and impact every type of tissue in the body. Covid is possibly linked to developing certain types of cancers. It is even being found in the bones and brains of otherwise healthy people YEARS after infection. The full implications of this data, we don't yet know.

Still, somehow, the fear of being different is enough for the majority of people to be willing to risk all of those consequences. Some people would literally rather die than to look a little bit silly in front of other people.

But WHY is standing out such a big deal for some people?

Is it because of how heavily stigmatized anxiety and mental health issues are, and how any rational fear about health and human rights is often written off as overreacting and being anxious? Is it because people don't know how to sit with themselves and lack the confidence needed to go against the grain, even if they know that what they're doing is right? Is it because people generally have a very difficult time accepting that they've been doing something wrong? Or is it because they fear that they too will be mocked, ridiculed, questioned, and excluded?

This fear, folks, is an intentionally exploited and leveraged function of fascists to ensure that eugenics is taking place and "normal” people aren't interfering with the process. Those in power KNOW that you don't want to stand out and be judged. And that's why the idea of “getting back to normal” and “post-covid” life that was so heavily pushed on us was so effective. It's a tactic that's been used during pandemics of the past, with the most recent example being the Spanish Flu pandemic ultimately bringing about the rise to power of the Nazi party. Fear and chaos leave a window open for fascism to creep in.

It doesn't happen all at once. It happens as a slow process of normalization, and thrives on superiority complexes and desperate desires to feel better than other people. That's why pandemics lead to eugenics, and eugenics goes hand in hand with fascism.

As it has become normalized to ostracize people for wearing a mask, it has also left a door open for fascists to criminalize it, thus essentially criminalizing disability. And that is only the tip of the iceberg, because as I mentioned earlier, anyone can become disabled at any time. Covid and other airborne illnesses are disabling people on a mass scale. In a country where the existing “support” systems for disabled people actually force them into poverty - and that's if those support systems don't get stripped away by this administration - the last thing that you want to be when the fascists come knocking on your door is newly disabled.

So What Can Be Done?

We urgently have to push back by normalizing mask wearing and testing again. If you ever stopped, start again now. If you can't find a mask that fits you right, search Reddit's numerous Covid safe communities for advice. Reach out to your local mask bloc if you or a friend needs masks and/or tests but can't afford them.

You don't have to give up everything and just stay home, you just have to get a little bit creative. Mask with friends, and/or pregame your hangouts with a round of tests. Drink at home with your friends instead of the bar and help each other swipe through Tinder. Get takeout from your favorite restaurant and have a craft night. Go to a museum with a mask on. Go see a movie masked, and get popcorn to eat on the ride home. You can even work out while wearing a mask (I've done it).

My husband and I have a routine with our friends that is so easy and fluid. We all mask regularly, and take home PCR tests (we’ve used Metrix, Lucira, and Pluslife tests) before meeting up. Sometimes, after discussing our recent outings and determining that our exposure risk is low, we all decide to just take double rapid tests, or do a pool test using a Lucira (pool testing saves money and is convenient, but please be aware that not all tests are able to be used this way). Testing adds a small amount of effort and cost to our hang outs, but we budget for this because it is a medical necessity, and it’s worth it to ensure that we are respecting and protecting ourselves and each other.

There truly are SO many ways to still live your normal life while protecting yourself and your community if you're willing to just try.

If all of those suggestions sound uncomfortable and weird to you and you’re nervous to try them, just start small. Whatever the smallest, quickest errand that you have is, try masking there. You will more than likely find that no one cares. On the off chance that someone does say something, practice responding to it. It might be uncomfortable at first, but it does get easier, and it IS worth it.

And if you’re thinking “but I’m from a rural area, they just don’t ‘get it’ here,” it doesn’t matter whether they get it or not. They don’t have to get it, because you owe no one an explanation for protecting yourself and community. I’ve masked every time that I’ve visited my family in rural eastern Texas in the last several years, and oddly enough, not a single person gave me a hard time for it. Be brave and try, because I fear that we're really at a point of no return.

If we don't actively and aggressively start pushing back on these dangerous ideas that fascists are perpetuating NOW, it can and will get MUCH, MUCH worse for everyone, but especially for disabled people. Especially with the looming threat of bird flu lingering on the horizon, and with things like tuberculosis outbreaks and toxic ash from wildfires cropping up around us.

So consider this a plea, on behalf of the disabled community (which, again, could easily include you someday) to wear a fucking mask, for your own health and for those around you. Avoiding this social responsibility not only perpetuates eugenics directly, but it makes things easier on the fascists. It is a lot easier for the government to enact fascism when the entire population is too exhausted and sick to fight back. Let your beliefs and ethics win out against your insecurities. We need solidarity now more than ever.

To put it bluntly, get over the fear of being judged. It does not serve you in the political climate that we're in. Do not let the embarrassment of wearing the uniform keep you from joining the ranks of the revolution.